1 00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:04,038 Ooh, tonight is the night, man. 2 00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:05,673 Mm, "The Guest Book" is on. Whoo! 3 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,575 Hey, it's not too late to catch up, 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,079 especially since, basically it's a new story each episode. 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,813 But the people in the town -- 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,183 they have some stuff going on, too. 7 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,185 The doctor that lives next door to the cabin 8 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,053 is preparing for his wife to come visit. 9 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,688 But the little lady cop is bummed out, 10 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,623 'cause I think she has a mad crush on him. 11 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,458 And remember how I told you 12 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,394 the stripper's blackmailing the guy who rents the cabins? 13 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,496 Well, she found someone to rent Froggy Cottage, 14 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,365 so I think this week, that's who's gonna stay there. 15 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,566 [ Sighs ] Damn. 16 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,436 Do you have a dollar I could borrow? 17 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,738 Thanks. You gonna watch the show? 18 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,473 You gonna watch the show? 19 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,808 You gonna watch the show? 20 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:44,178 ** 21 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:47,081 * Wherever we go 22 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:50,251 * That's fine by me 23 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,720 * We'll settle our bones 24 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,122 * Eventually 25 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,323 * Yeah, I need a break 26 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,524 * I need a minute 27 00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,361 * Just give me one day 28 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:07,401 * Let's get, get, get away 29 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:10,771 ** 30 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,240 [ Exhales sharply ] 31 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,676 Pedro: So, what brings you to México? 32 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:19,113 Let me guess -- a beautiful woman. 33 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,315 No, beautiful women are too much work. 34 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,750 I prefer slightly older, 35 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:26,654 slightly damaged women with big bank accounts. 36 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,622 Look. 37 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,858 This one bought me a car. 38 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:34,328 This one paid for my calf implants. 39 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:37,665 And this one here is the reason I'm in Mexico. 40 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:43,871 Blake: No one is 100% honest in their online dating profile. 41 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,806 Mine doesn't disclose that I have webbed toes, 42 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,576 and Marta's failed to mention that she made her fortune 43 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,478 selling cocaine. 44 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,713 But who am I to judge people on how they pay my bills? 45 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,348 Hey, baby. 46 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,285 Since you like poems so much, I wrote one for you. 47 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,720 "Roses are red, violets are blue. 48 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:03,657 Time to dry off and put your wiener inside Mommy." 49 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,527 [ Laughs ] 50 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,795 [ Guns cocking ] 51 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,504 -[ Under breath ] Mierda. -I can't go to jail. 52 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,539 I'm too pretty, and I know too much about thread count. 53 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,841 I'll testify. She told me she gets her drugs from the Colombian cartel. 54 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,610 iPuta rata! 55 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,912 [ Hocks, spits ] 56 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,481 Ohh, man! 57 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:31,719 Not ladylike, Marta! Not ladylike in the least! 58 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,721 [ Siren whoops, radio chatter ] 59 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:37,157 [ Dog barking in distance ] 60 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,862 They want me to take your statement here 61 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,798 rather than risk you being seen at the station. 62 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,568 The Colombian cartel have people everywhere. 63 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,803 But... 64 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,672 if you want a little free advice, 65 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,542 if you just keep your mouth shut, you'll be out in a year. 66 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,844 If you testify, there'll be a price on your head 67 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,780 for the rest of your life. 68 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,782 Aw, don't worry about me, buddy. 69 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,651 I got enough cash hidden away 70 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,287 to make sure they'll never find me. 71 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,488 [ Whack ] 72 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,623 Oh, shit, shit, shit!! 73 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,661 I warned you! They have people everywhere! 74 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,663 Realizing they would stop at nothing 75 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,565 to keep me from testifying, 76 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,866 after a few weeks, the cops decided to move me 77 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,835 to a safe house in the mountains. 78 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,004 Richard: When you get there, do a sweep for potential weapons. 79 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,439 I will, Dad. 80 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,308 I've been doing this for 20 years. 81 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,610 Besides, [Sighs] I don't think I have much to worry about 82 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,245 with this guy. 83 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,680 Call me tonight. I'm off to a potluck. 84 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,582 Love you. [ Cellphone beeps ] 85 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,684 We're out of the city. You can sit up now. 86 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:37,885 How do you know Marta's people 87 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,353 don't know where you're taking me? 88 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,654 I promise you're safe, trust me. 89 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,323 My father's the head of the department, 90 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,526 and as you can tell, he's a little overprotective -- 91 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,962 won't assign me to anything the least bit dangerous or exciting. 92 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,364 I'm six years away from retirement, 93 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,965 and I haven't even been shot at yet. 94 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,634 You know what might be exciting? 95 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,669 If I didn't have to testify. 96 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,004 You could just drop me off at my apartment, 97 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,039 let me grab a few things, let me disappear. 98 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,375 Yeah, right. 99 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,678 If you like, we could get to know each other a little 100 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:05,879 while we're there. 101 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,282 Keep dreaming. 102 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,451 Blake: If this woman was heavier, older, or uglier, 103 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,420 I might have had a shot. 104 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:15,456 But my powers don't tend to work on anything above a five. 105 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,058 [ Snip ] 106 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,527 I think they're here. 107 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,295 If you don't mind, could you at least 108 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,631 go over the Froggy Cottage house rules with them? 109 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,799 We're the ones doing the blackmailing, dipshit. 110 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,436 We make the rules, not you. 111 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,703 [ Car doors open ] 112 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,941 Holy shit. 113 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:37,445 That guy looks like a weatherman or something. 114 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:38,946 I-I got to go find my eyelashes. 115 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,584 Trina: Hi. Hi. 116 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,785 We're here to pick up some keys. 117 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:48,055 Um, yeah. Come on in. 118 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:52,393 "The downstairs toilet needs to be handled with care, 119 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:53,594 "a frown symbol. 120 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,829 The bolts are loose, a smile symbol." 121 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,665 Those are parenthesis. 122 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,968 "No pets. No smoking." 123 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,504 A famous poet once said that in order to create, 124 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:04,972 one must first observe. 125 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,807 And I was observing that I might have found 126 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,777 the perfect woman to help me create my escape. 127 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,045 Frank: "Do not feed the wildlife. 128 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:16,350 "Please shower prior to using the hot tub. 129 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:19,420 "And lastly, no jumping on the bed. 130 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,954 "No jumping on the couch. 131 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,356 No jumping on..." 132 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,557 We're not gonna be doing any jumping. 133 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,092 Let's go. 134 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,429 [ Rock music playing ] 135 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,702 [ Door opens ] 136 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,541 Aw, man, I got to go to the bathroom. [ Scoffs ] 137 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,443 [ Footsteps approach ] 138 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,945 [ Door creaks and bangs ] What's with all the secrecy? 139 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,447 Are you scared of your chauffeur? 140 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,816 She's a cop, and I'm her prisoner. 141 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,452 Oh, my God, that is so hot. 142 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,688 Normally, I enjoy a little cat-and-mousing when I romance a woman. 143 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,558 But I needed this stripper to fall in love with me fast. 144 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,759 [ Heavy breathing ] 145 00:05:58,792 --> 00:05:59,993 From the second I saw you, 146 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,929 I knew there was something between us. 147 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,698 [ Exhales sharply ] I felt it, too. 148 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,600 It was like a thunderbolt. [ Breathing heavily ] 149 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,470 I wish we could be together. 150 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,871 I mean, we could if you... 151 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,973 No, I should go. 152 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,808 If -- If I what? 153 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,448 If you help me escape. 154 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,716 I've got a suitcase full of cash stashed in my apartment. 155 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,017 If you can bring it back here 156 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,719 and follow a few simple instructions, 157 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,856 you and I could be making love on a Mexican beach. 158 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,100 I'm in. 159 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,202 [ Lowered voice ] This is unbelievable. unbelievable! 160 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,971 [ Lowered voice ] I don't know why you're being a dick. 161 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,839 Maybe because I invited you up here for the weekend, 162 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,576 so we can work on our marriage, and you brought a date. 163 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,010 Well, if you didn't want me to bring a guest, 164 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,579 you should have been more specific in your text. 165 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,013 Stop using so many emojis. 166 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,214 It makes you look like a pussy. 167 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,683 [ Loudly ] I was trying to -- 168 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,886 You're trying to make me yell, 169 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,087 look like a monster in front of Bryce. 170 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,489 I'm not gonna play your game. 171 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,123 No, you'll play your own game 172 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,526 and try to look cooler than me by getting our son a crossbow. 173 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:08,829 By the way, that's about to backfire. 174 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,063 Cool! 175 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,600 Dad, he hit the bull's-eye! 176 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,234 You can't even hit the target. 177 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,504 Where'd you meet this guy again? 178 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:20,508 At the archery range. 179 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,610 Bull's-eye!! 180 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,717 [ Grunts ] 181 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,832 [ Rattles ] 182 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,036 [ Grunts ] 183 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,705 Blake: Oh, no! 184 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,709 [ Phone rings ] 185 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,711 Chubbys. We won't tell if you don't. 186 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,780 Yeah, we got a serious problem with the toilet. 187 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,981 It fell over. 188 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,550 Oh, my. 189 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,051 Well, I'm so sorry to hear that. 190 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,919 These wrenches are expensive. 191 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:08,989 This is the biggest one I could fit down my pant. Shh! 192 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,891 I'll be there as soon as I can. 193 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,726 [ Phone beeps, antenna clicks ] 194 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,762 Hey, Kombucha, powder your clam. 195 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,030 You're working a double shift tonight. 196 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,267 ** 197 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,235 My new boyfriend needs me. 198 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,805 ** 199 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,544 I like this story. 200 00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:31,745 You have a really good way with words. 201 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,246 Thanks! I majored in poetry. 202 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,883 Look at you -- a poet gigolo. 203 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,284 [ Chuckles ] 204 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,754 Poet gigolo. Yeah. I like that. 205 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,055 If they ever make my story into a movie, 206 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,924 I'm gonna pitch that as a title. 207 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,093 I have a cousin who works at Disney. 208 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,697 In the park, but I bet he knows someone. 209 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,932 Anyway, where were we? 210 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,669 Sorry about this. 211 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:56,904 Hopefully we can get your potty back up on its feet. 212 00:08:56,937 --> 00:09:02,109 [ Phone rings ] 213 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,677 [ Ring ] 214 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,078 Hey, Dad. 215 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:10,150 Yes, everything is fine, except plumbing issues. 216 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,186 No, I didn't drink milk. I'm talking about the house. 217 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,255 [ Both mouthing words ] No, the owner's here, and she's trying to fix it. 218 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,092 Some stripper. 219 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,061 [ Continuing mouthing words ] 220 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,963 No, you're right. 221 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,734 You're right. I-- 222 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,669 I-I'll get rid of her. 223 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,040 You know what? 224 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,241 We'll just use the bathroom upstairs. 225 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,643 You can go. 226 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:36,910 Oh, okay. 227 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,245 Well, if you have any more problems, 228 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,880 feel free to give me a call. 229 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,081 I'll be at Chubbys... 230 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,383 [ Seductively ] all night. 231 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,686 [ Crickets chirping ] 232 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,622 [ Door closes ] You can watch TV for a while if you want -- 233 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,824 anything but "American Horror Story." 234 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,893 That shit is dumb as hell. 235 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,697 Um, I think I might brush my teeth. 236 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,931 Sink still works, right? 237 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,933 I assume so, yep. 238 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,073 [ Click ] 239 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,941 [ Whispering ] Hey, Dad. It's me. 240 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,877 Yeah, I know it's been a while. 241 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,812 No, no, don't have Mom jump on. 242 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,681 I need to ask you a question. 243 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,115 No, I can't talk louder. 244 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,017 I'm...at a library. 245 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,186 Hey, you remember the time you accidentally knocked me out 246 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,189 with a softball bat when I was 7? 247 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,659 Yeah, do you remember how hard you hit me, to, you know, 248 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:27,861 knock me out but not kill me? 249 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,763 Was it -- [ Sighs ] 250 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,899 Hi, Mom. 251 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,968 No, I hadn't heard about Aunt Rose. 252 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,870 'Cause I'm at a library! 253 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,325 Is that a sonnet? 254 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,828 No. Maybe. Why? 255 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,362 You just don't see a lot of people writing sonnets, 256 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,865 that's all. I-- I-It's not really -- 257 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,935 sometimes I -- I like to write down my feelings. 258 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,337 I minored in poetry, so... 259 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,272 How'd you know it was a sonnet? 260 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,674 I majored in poetry. Let's hear it. 261 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,979 [ Sighs ] 262 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,214 I can't believe I'm doing this. 263 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,953 "As darkness falls upon my story, 264 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,155 "is all my triumph in the past? 265 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,157 "When I look back on all the glory, 266 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,960 "did I answer what my heart asked? 267 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:36,864 "A journey started with a shout, slowly turned into a whisper. 268 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,932 "Regrets are had without a doubt, 269 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,201 "wishing the end could be crisper. 270 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,435 "Are the hopes and dreams of fools 271 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:46,106 "just windmills in the distance? 272 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,474 "Silly dreams for stubborn mules, 273 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:50,110 "on the path of least resistance? 274 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:54,882 "If so, I hope the end comes quick and no one asks me why 275 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:59,352 I didn't chase my windmills, 'cause I fear I might just cry." 276 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,825 [ Exhales ] You don't understand it, so... 277 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,426 Of course I do. 278 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,862 "As darkness falls upon my story" -- 279 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,231 It's about getting older. 280 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,900 And then it goes into how your job 281 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,534 has become more routine, less exciting. 282 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,205 "A journey started with a shout, slowly turned into a whisper." 283 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,473 But then you ask the question, 284 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,876 "Am I wrong to expect more out of life?" 285 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,545 Or "Are the hopes and dreams of fools just windmills 286 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,447 in the distance?" 287 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,417 It's good. I don't like the end, though. 288 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,852 It's too sad. 289 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,453 You have two lines left in your sonnet 290 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,323 to choose any ending you like, and you went so dark. 291 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,925 I don't see darkness in you. 292 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,192 I see light. 293 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,797 ** 294 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,440 And there it was -- my first seven. 295 00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,813 Okay, so, I just had sex with the cop, right? 296 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,382 Scratch that -- we made love. 297 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,386 I might have to see if we can delay the trial 298 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,089 so we can stay up here a couple of extra days. 299 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,991 [ Hand cuffs clicking ] 300 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,226 I'm sorry. Uh... 301 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,895 What are you doing? 302 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,897 Escaping. Again, so sorry. 303 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,098 You used me? 304 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,499 No, I didn't. I promise. 305 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,534 Look, I'm really sorry about this. 306 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:22,936 It's not everyday I meet someone 307 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,437 who shares my passion for poetry. 308 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,073 I actually like you. 309 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,208 That never happens with the women I take advantage of, 310 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:31,178 but right now there's a suitcase full of cash that I stole 311 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,479 from my drug-dealing ex-girlfriend 312 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,881 being guarded by a stripper named Tickles, 313 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:37,017 so I've got to go. 314 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,452 I'm sorry. 315 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,521 [ Grunting ] 316 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,456 Oh! 317 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,260 "The top of the bedpost in the downstairs bedroom is loose. 318 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,463 If it falls off, just put it back." 319 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,175 [ Exhales sharply ] 320 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,914 Blake. 321 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,917 Oh, my God. Okay. 322 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,251 Andrew: Wait! 323 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,486 Jessica, wait! 324 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,288 Please, don't go. 325 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,324 I promise I won't talk about you bringing a date anymore. 326 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,926 And, look, I bought us dinner. 327 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,194 We'll take ours to go. 328 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,496 That bag's just chopsticks and napkins. 329 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,232 Please, you're being crazy. 330 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,599 I only see my son every two weeks. 331 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,369 And who's fault is that? [ Whispers ] Asshole! 332 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:34,141 I think this is the slippery shrimp and orange chicken. 333 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,543 You can be a real bitch sometimes, you know that? 334 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,146 Sometimes I wish I never met you! 335 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,114 [ Engine starts ] 336 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:44,051 Hey, Daddy didn't mean to yell. That's not who I am. 337 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:47,320 Uh...I'll see you in a couple weeks, okay, buddy? 338 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,422 Hey, I'm gonna practice that crossbow! 339 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,160 [ Vehicle departs ] 340 00:14:56,596 --> 00:15:01,301 Uh...come on inside. Checkbook's in the house. 341 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,304 [ Crickets chirping, dog barking in distance ] 342 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,672 How's the methadone? 343 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,075 It's not as good as heroin. 344 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,509 What the hell happened? 345 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,211 He attacked me with a wrench. You were right. 346 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,447 I never should have let the owner of the house in. 347 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,648 [ Exhales sharply ] 348 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,517 I think he's headed to a bikini bar. 349 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,252 I'm sending backup. Don't go there until they arrive. 350 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,488 Dad, I can do this alone. 351 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,957 [ Cellphone clicks ] 352 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,625 What do you mean you're "Giving me the club?" 353 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,060 I'm leaving the country. 354 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,595 Rent's due on the first of the month. 355 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,130 Oh, and the beer distributor's been giving me a discount 356 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,598 'cause I blew him in a parking lot, 357 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,134 but you'll probably have to start paying full price. 358 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,368 Unless he swings both ways. 359 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,504 It's possible. He did cry afterwards. 360 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,142 Yeah, I'm gonna pay full price. 361 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,177 But do I have to keep it a bikini bar? 362 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,678 'Cause I always thought we could do better as a sports bar. 363 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,080 Do whatever you want. 364 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,982 I'll be making love on a beach. 365 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,987 [ Door opens ] 366 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,527 Aw, nuts. 367 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,363 This'll be a lot easier if you just tell me where he is. 368 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,532 I told you. I don't know where he is. 369 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,467 [ Sighs ] 370 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,037 [ Car door opens ] 371 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,238 [ Engine starts ] 372 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,173 He couldn't have gotten far. 373 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,641 I'll be back. 374 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,409 The next time you see your boyfriend, 375 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,778 you'll be handcuffed to each other on your way to jail. 376 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,313 [ Gears shift ] 377 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:23,783 Wait, wait! 378 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,485 [ Tires screech ] 379 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,257 [ Brakes squeal ] 380 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,025 Did he really tell you he was my boyfriend? 381 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,295 [ Gears shift ] 382 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,748 Pedro: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 383 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,450 What the hell just happened? 384 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,352 You're surprised, right? 385 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,121 See, as soon as you got me thinking this could be a movie, 386 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,790 I left out some stuff to make the ending more unexpected. 387 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,093 Ah, a twist! 388 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,460 I love a good twist. 389 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,529 Of course you do. Everyone loves a twist. 390 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,734 Are you going to tell me what you left out? 391 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,136 Yeah, in a sec. 392 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:19,606 Everyone loves suspense, too. 393 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:28,115 [ Coughing ] Okay! 394 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,617 Here's what I left out. 395 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,752 Blake. 396 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:35,722 Oh, my God. Okay. 397 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,190 Andrew: Wait! 398 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,491 Jessica, wait! 399 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,795 [ Exhaling ] 400 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,398 Fine. If you got to shoot me, then shoot me. 401 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,168 At least it'll be quicker than whatever the cartel does to me. 402 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,543 Take me with you. 403 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,877 What? 404 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,413 You said the ending of my poem was too sad. 405 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,282 Help me write a new one. 406 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,784 "Riding into the sunset with my brand-new honey 407 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,620 and a suitcase full of some drug dealer's money" 408 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,289 is a much better rhyme than 409 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,558 "Sitting all alone eating Lean Cuisine, 410 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,827 watching 'Magic Mike' while I diddle my bean." 411 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,630 My head and my heart, they battle within, 412 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,600 if I don't find love now, I have to ask when 413 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,470 will I ever find someone as perfect as you? 414 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:26,306 But that stripper has my money, so what can we do? 415 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,542 Please! I'm a cop with a badge, she sells peeks at her vag. 416 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,412 I can get all your cash, we'll be gone in a flash. 417 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,314 But in case we get caught, I can't go to jail. 418 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,715 Of course. 419 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:40,753 So, the story must be that you took me by force. 420 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,556 [ Clank ] [ Gasps ] 421 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,160 [ Clanging, thud ] 422 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,795 Now, that's a great ending. 423 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,164 Thanks. We didn't actually do all that rhyming at the end, 424 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,499 but with the success of "Hamilton," 425 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,534 I think I'm gonna put that in the movie. 426 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,203 Oh, I wouldn't. 427 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,306 That shit is starting to get really played out. 428 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,707 Where's your girl? 429 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,442 Oh, we drove about 3 miles down the road, 430 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,244 and I ditched her at a truck stop. 431 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,945 Once I was free and had all my money, 432 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,315 I realized her poem kind of sucked. 433 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:12,185 [ Sea birds calling ] 434 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,720 How did you get down here? 435 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,656 [ Mouth full ] Mm. I drove her car. Why? 436 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,458 Shit. 437 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,926 You don't think they have a way to track those, do you? 438 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,499 Another twist. 439 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,735 Another twist. 440 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,904 * When I see my baby [ Speaks indistinctly ] 441 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,406 ...with that foolishness. 442 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,476 * What do I see? 443 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,212 * Poetry 444 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:43,583 * Poetry in motion 445 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,719 * Poetry in motion 446 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,922 * Walkin' by my side 447 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,926 * Her lovely locomotion 448 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,997 * Keeps my eyes open wide 449 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,967 * Poetry in motion 450 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,537 * See her gentle sway 451 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,807 * A wave out on the ocean 452 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,244 * Could never move that way 453 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:14,947 * I love every movement 454 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:18,551 * There's nothing I would change * 455 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,954 * She doesn't need improvement 456 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:26,493 * She's much too nice to rearrange * 457 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,429 * Poetry in motion 458 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,599 * Dancing close to me 459 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,935 * A flower of devotion 460 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:39,406 * A-swaying gracefully 461 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,474 * Whoa, oh, oh 462 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:46,313 * Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh * 463 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,715 Hi. My name is Adam. 464 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,418 I'm here to get the keys to Froggy Cottage. 465 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,686 I planned a surprise date. 466 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,490 Ooh. Mints. 467 00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:59,426 Hmm. May I? 468 00:20:59,459 --> 00:20:59,826 Knock yourself out. 469 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,027 Yeah? 470 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:02,495 Uh-huh.